Not everybody wants flowers!

One couple we worked with (let’s call them Evie & Jim) shared about a major blowout they had one Valentine’s Day. Things had been a little tense in the relationship, partly because money was tight.  Jim had been made redundant and Evie wasn’t yet back on a full-time income given her extended maternity leave while their latest arrival settled into a routine.

Jim bought Evie some frolicky underwear in the January sales but still wanted to mark the day by getting Evie flowers as he had always done.  He figured spending the last of their non-essential budget on a dozen red roses would send the right message and set the scene for a well-overdue romantic liaison! Evie for her part, painfully aware that they only had £45 in the kitty, had decided in her mind they’d get a small takeaway, a bottle of her favourite red, and just spend the night in… and see what romantic frivolity followed. She’d even arranged for her mum to look after the kids.

Misunderstood expectations on both sides, despite genuine attempts to show love…

You can just imagine Evie’s response when Jim presented her with the bouquet during breakfast… her face hardened as the realisation set in that he had spent the last of their entertainment fund on flowers!  

I don’t flipping fancy left overs and milk for my Valentine’s day dinner… do you?  Aaargh!!!” Evie stormed off to get their eldest ready for nursery.

Not quite the start to Valentine’s Day either of them hoped for. Has anybody else been there?

Jim realised that day, perhaps along with many others, that for some, flowers are a “nice to have” but not love’s loudest language.  For Evie, if she had to choose… spending quality time together was much more important to her than any flowers ever would be.  

In our efforts to communicate love, we tend to do for others what we would like them do for us – but often that misses the mark. It turns out Evie is all about #QualityTime and #ActsOfService. For Jim, #Gifts and #Touch speak loudest. Understanding The 5 key ways of showing and receiving love can help make Valentine’s Day more meaningful and memorable – for the right reasons!

It’s never too late to figure out which of the five key ways will speak love loudest to your loved one if you want things to go as well as possible for you this Valentine’s… and beyond!

Want to find out more?  In our book: The 4 Habits of ALL Successful Relationships, we share practical examples of how to use Love Languages to connect better and communicate love powerfully to your nearest and dearest. Get your copy at Amazon and all other good online booksellers.

A young woman with long brown hair embraces a man who is kissing her on the cheek. They are holding a red heart.

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