Welcome to day 25 in the series…
Yesterday we looked at different communication styles. Today we start to unpack a very powerful model for creating genuine connection and making major deposits in your loved one’s emotional bank accounts by learning to communicate love, value and appreciation in specific ways meaningful to them.
This powerful model is based on the concept of Love Languages developed by Dr. Gary Chapman over 25yrs ago and has literally transformed the way we personally connect with each other as husband and wife, and as a family.
As Dr. Chapman points out, there are basically five pretty distinct ways in which we all feel loved and or appreciated… basically made to “feel special”. Of those five, most of us perceive love most strongly in one, maybe two different ways. That’s not to say we don’t’ welcome the other three but by-and-large there are one or two ways that become love’s “loudest language” for us.
No surprises that we tend to show love in the “language” we know best – our own. This explains how as couples we can emotionally “miss” each other, exhausting ourselves to communicate love in a way that means something to us… but doesn’t even register with our partner.
If you want your partner to feel loved, there is absolutely no substitute for learning and speaking their love language. Otherwise we leave our partner – and ourselves – in a very vulnerable place. But when we identify their love language, we can fill their emotional bank account on purpose and enjoy better warmth and connection in our relationship – with simple, focused effort.
Something to think about: What one or two things would you say make your partner feel most valued? How consistent are you in doing the things that make them feel valued?
Don’t panic if you don’t really know what makes them feel valued at this stage. That’s precisely what we’re going to be unpacking over the next couple of days.
Tomorrow we’ll be looking at the first of these Love Languages – WORDS OF AFFIRMATION. So, don’t miss out. See you then!