Welcome to day 26 in the series… we’re almost at the end!
Yesterday we introduced the powerful concept of “Love Languages”, a very practical way for showing love in specific ways meaningful to your partner and topping up their emotional bank account on purpose. Over the next three days we will look at each of the five love languages in turn – but in no particular order – because they are all equally important. Today we look at people for whom WORDS of AFFIRMATION are key.
WORDS people love verbal appreciation. They value hearing positive affirmation of just about anything, especially when the comments are unsolicited – the way they look, what they’ve accomplished… basically anything that affirms them as a person. In a relationship, hearing the words “I love you” is super important to them, powerful both spoken and written down.
When this model was shared at a couples’ retreat we attended, an elderly gentleman broke down in tears. It turns out that for almost 40 years he had taken the view that buying cards to celebrate things like Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, Easter, birthdays, anniversaries, etc. was just a commercial scam. Then he discovered that his wife’s number one love language was WORDS and that now, with them both in their 70’s, he had been depriving her of hearing those much needed words of affirmation for all those years… He was distraught. They both wept for quite a while.
We can unintentionally inflict pain by ignoring loves loudest voice for our partner, and worse yet, by doing the things that are the exact opposite – like criticising people who are most alert to words. It is vital that we understand both what to do and what not to do in order to communicate love powerfully to our partner.
Here’s something to think about: Are words super important to you? Are they to your partner? One fairly easy way to tell is by thinking about what you both complain about from time to time. If it’s related to words (lack of praise, criticism, etc…) then chances are the complainer is a WORDs person. If that’s your partner, what can you do consistently to show them more value through WORDS going forward?
Tomorrow we will cover two more of the five love languages – PHYSICAL TOUCH and GIFTS. Stay tuned!